Mustache King

Memorabilia, the Tick

2008-09-14T21:17:00.000-07:00

A must see for all the mustache fans. Ever see the cartoon The Tick? This is a snippet of an episode where the Tick wakes up a mustache. Pretty funny.

And the winner is...

2008-09-10T20:31:00.000-07:00

Competitors and esteemed fans, please excuse the month-long hiatus we took after the competition ended. The refereeing was so intense and exhausting that it literally took this long to recover. Seriously, it was a matter of the two of us getting together to take time and do the podcast show where we announce the winners, then the time to edit the thing. Maybe we bit off a little more than we could chew. Anyway, thanks for waiting patiently

First, we are really sad to have to announce that one of the competitors in this year's Mustache Growing contest has passed away in a kayaking accident. Isaac Ludwig who was our friend, passionate kayaker and all-around good guy passed on August 26th. We mourn his death but hope that everyone can remember him for the great sense of humor he had throughout the contest. We knew him personally and can attest that he was really a great dude. More can be read about Isaac at this LINK.

Now, please go visit this link to view and/or listen to the podcast where you'll find out who won the contest. CLICK RIGHT HERE.

The Mustache King organizers, Spencer Cooke & Joey Hall

So, um, it's over?

2008-08-05T13:51:00.000-07:00

I looked at my watch today and realized it was August, but I still have a mustache... I mean, the contest is over, right? I should probably shave now, right? Or, should I????

HMMMMMMMMMM

HMMMMMMMMMMMM

Well, maybe I'll give it another day. It deserves another day to bask in the splendor of mustache royalty. Thanks to all for a fun two months. I'll think of you all each time I shave and I promise to have at least one mustache month a year to commerorate this auspicious event. Farewell friends.

Well got to say, I will not know what to do

2008-08-04T08:47:00.000-07:00

Every since I started this I thought to myself: What I am doing shaving the goat tee I had been sporting for over a year, But I would have to say the stache has been the better addition. I have one last picture to post me in a kayak. well its not the best but this was taken Sun Aug 3rd on the James. well it is over and we got to say GOODBYE, the stache will be missed.

AND A BIG GOODBYE to all my fellow Stache wearers.

Charles Signing out for the Stache contest.

The Sextache Diaries - Final Volume

2008-08-03T01:39:00.000-07:00

What a crazy couple of months it has been! From the early tache buds way back in early June to the hefty powerbars I'm sporting now. I can't say it hasn't been easy - it has.

I guess I'm just one of those guys who's born with dazzling looks and amazing tache genes. I'll probably donate my body to science so mustache development can be studied in depth. Who knows, maybe someday every guy will be able to grow full and luscious face furniture.

On to the final set of challenges.

I realized that this is the kind of competition where you go big or you go home. With that in mind, I hit the road to find some whitewater in Asia and unleash the power of the tache. I graced the presence of my tache on the Maetang River. I pretty much destroyed it in my trusty rental Method Air. Ordinarily plastic paddles and a 1980s PFD look pretty weak, but with the tache in action, the gear takes on a whole new look - I like to call it Bad-Ass!

After the takeout, I was hungry for another challenge.
I figured I needed to go even bigger. I mean this is a Mustache Competition, not a grow-in!
Sure I could have found a plastic animal, a stuffed toy or asked a friend to dress up as an ass or something. Hell I could have probably hired someone to be my personal beast of burden for a while or maybe gone to an animal and ping-pong show in Bangkok.

But that would be the easy option. Instead I decided to track down the biggest land mammal on earth and compare body hair.
So that's what I did.

Say hello to Maggie

As you can see, the sextache has the same devastating effect on females of all species.

I see from reading the blog that most of my fellow competitors are banging on about the imminent demise of their lip hair attempts.

Here's a thought: Save The Tache!

Hell, if you do, some of you might just have ripe enough taches this time next year to be able to mount a serious challenge!

Personally, I think my sextache has earned the right to stay put for a little while longer.
I'm gonna keep it for a couple more weeks, maybe I'll try a few different styles, I might even extend the powerbars another couple of inches.

The possibilities are endless...

Parting (the perfect stache) is such sweet sorrow

2008-07-31T22:49:00.000-07:00

The day has come... the day I must say goodbye to a dear friend, the day I must come to terms of letting go, the day I must part ways with Fran until next year when we will meet again to rock and shock the world of staches of the greatness we have become to be known as...American Steele & Fran "The Lip of Hair of Indispensable & Unfathomable Greatness".
Many took this challenge as just that, a challenge to grow hair on their upper lip, but not I, no I looked at this challenge of wit and advancements of puberty as a life quest to find who, what and why the mustache is what it is to our society and why those that poses it's true powers are the true champions in life. One of my favorite exerpts from Guy de Maupassant's "The Mustche," is...

There is no love without a mustache!
"There is no patriotism without agriculture," said M. Meline, and he was right, that minister; I now understand why.
From a very different point of view the mustache is essential. It gives character to the face. It makes a man look gentle, tender, violent, a monster, a rake, enterprising! The hairy man, who does not shave off his whiskers, never has a refined look, for his features are concealed; and the shape of the jaw and the chin betrays a great deal to those who understand.
The man with a mustache retains his own peculiar expression and his refinement at the same time.

With that I leave you a Photo Montage of the past few weeks spending with Fran and I & my final quote...

"A man without a mustache is like a cup of tea without sugar"~English Proverb

Signing off!

~American Steele & Fran "Already in the bag"

Isaac Ludwig - Finale

2008-07-31T19:49:00.001-07:00

I'd have to say that this was a fun two months. Disassociation from physical appearance has always been something I've enjoyed to play with.

Since I last checked in we've realized the severity of the two year drought in the Smoky Mountains region with the cutback of whitewater releases on the Pigeon and without adequate consideration of lower releases.

In yet another great example of how politics and corporations can dictate the economic viability of a region by mismanaging whitewater releases, Walters Hydroelectric Plant has proven yet again that they care little for the wellbeing of others much further then beyond their personal gain. This this makes whitewater sports on the Pigeon even harder to predict when the power company already never gives notice to the public on release days.

The lead photo in this post with Mr. Silsbee is the final part of the fulfillment of the epic quest list (#10). The first post with Gov. Bredison, Rep. Yokley and Sen. Southerland about the Pigeon River bill and the opening of our new kayaking shop with Rep. Yokley and mayor McMann all in some fulfilled (#1, 5 & 6) but I thought I'd add another for good measure. Since it was the last day of the competition and Diamond Brand was having a premiere of 'Downunder the Horizon Line' (a badass new kayaking video) I decided against going to Best Buy or Circuit City and ate pizza and watched the new vid instead.

The beginning of this last phase of competition started with my best friend from High School Rachel, her husband Nick and a number of our other friends, from the Cincy area (where Rachel went to highschool), visiting for a couple of days. We did some rafting on Saturday (one of two days with water on the Pigeon!), chilled in the hot tub a bit and then I showed them midnight hole (Big Creek) rockin the orange shorts again and donning the persona on the straw hat.

The rest of the week was spent rafting a bit more Tuesday on the Pigeon, Section 11 of the French Broad Mon & Wed and Upper Pigeon trips at 150 cfs Thursday... the the Hitler Stash for the Finale! I'm not racist at all... but since I probably won't mess with the stash for quite a long time I thought I'd go big with the handlebars and the Hitler Stash while I was doing it already.

See ya'll on the river!

Champagne Wishes and Caviar Dreams

2008-07-31T16:39:00.000-07:00

I briefly contemplated popping open a bottle of bubbly and celebrating the completion of our mustache journey, but after a thorough evaluation, I decided a visit to the park was in order. Off we go, White-Tip and I went to the park.

I couldn't resist my boyish urges to swing and slide. Oh such fun.

After a taxing experience on the teeter-totter, I decide a respite was needed. Some crossword puzzles were in order. After surveying the area, I deduced I would have the peace and quiet White-Tip and I longed for. Such celebrity status has its perks, it also has its perils.

With my mind and body drained, I figured, what better to do than celebrate one last hurrah, with mint-chocolate-chip all over White-Tip. My fellow Baskin-Robbins patrons had much pleasure with White-Tip and I. We cut loose and ate and laughed freely. Farewell you all, for I shall miss you, and I know I'll miss White-Tip dearly.

Shalom!

Thus it Ends

2008-07-31T16:16:00.000-07:00

Well today I learned how long it has been since I was last on my longboard.

Then I paddled out to try and fix the broken direction indicator on the lighthouse and turn it on.

But a couple of passengers snuck aboard and challenged me to a grudge match of battleship.

<

And then they threw me overboard. I think the bear was teaching my cousin how to cheat.

Thankfully I managed to float to shore on the other side of the pool and after a little sputtering, and drying I was able to sneak away to freedom. The bear will rue the day it tried to interfere in a contest of such epic proportions.

Thanks to everyone involved. I hope to make it to a river at some elevation other that 0 feet so I can meet the other people interested in such shenanigans.

The mustache Diaries - Final Post

2008-07-31T15:35:00.000-07:00

Like sand through the hour glass, so are the days of our lives.... The two months of this fine competition have flown by and with the quality of competition I'm sure that we could put together a pilot episode of a new soap opera...

The days of our Mustaches???

Now I admit that I haven't been active enough in many of the fine challenges set forward by the Mustache King, although I have partaken in most of the activities put forward, I never seem to have a camera at the ready to freeze the moment into a frame of digital prosperity.

Alas I have enjoyed the overall task of wearing a mustache proudly and my mustache and I will share great memories, like being able to gain the respect of those around me on the river, basketball court, hockey field, workplace, main street, post office. Everywhere I have been the mustache has been a centre piece of conversation and it will be sad to see it go.

I have decided to finish off the competition with a simple comparison of my mustache 'then & now' so without any further rambling here is my two months of growth.

1 June 2008

31st July 2008

And that is me, to the competitors, organisers and sponsors thank you for being kayakers. And thank you for the amusement.

Cheers and happy paddling.

Antz

CUMEC Magazine

Anything is possible in the world of illusion

2008-07-31T05:56:00.000-07:00

The metamorphosis is complete and I feel closer to my caveman self; hairy, sketch, and reeking of previous meals. Watermelon lingers sweetly on a moustache. Chili not so much.

I would like to take this last opportunity to recognize the hero that influenced me the most in this competition(other than Milt Aiken and the "inconceivable" Sicilian from the Princess Bride) the world renowned magician Doug Henning. You may remember him from the muppet show where his many hair afflictions allowed him to blend seamlessly with Jim Henson's creations. His catch phrase was, "anything is possible in the world of illusion." You've got to respect an epic butt cut with A-frame stache over bedazzled Sgt-Peppers jacket.

Bravo IR for sponsoring this battle royale! I thank you for the experience and the knowledge I have lost as well as the respite from my wife's heretofore constant amorous attention.

Quest completions

2008-07-30T11:14:00.000-07:00

Alas, as the time rapidly approaches for White-Tip and I to part ways, I thought I would share some adventures that he and I had along the way. We got a new work ID together...

We ran into Spencer Cooke...

We went surfing...

We befriended the North Carolina Beard and Mustache Club (see myspace) and joined www.BeardTeamUSA.org ("for moustaches too")

*sniff sniff, one more day...

Mustache Comparisons

2008-07-29T16:39:00.000-07:00

For this, my last bi-weekly mustache-motivated quest , I decided to compare my two odd months of mustache growth with those around me who have been cultivating mustaches of their own forever.

This is Tutti. That is short for some ridiculously long name that my girlfriend made up, but I prefer to think of it as it's Italian meaning - "everyone." She is possibly the largest house-cat known to man. She is, however, not Italian, but she does have an impressive mustache. At this point, I think mine might have grown out a bit more than even her's:

Ok, well, actually it looks more like I cut some of her fur off and glued it to my lip, but that's just not the case. Anyway, MOVING ON, there is Luisa. She’s one of two Dogo Argentinos that overwhelm my household on a daily basis. She is, at the same time, the sweetest and worst behaved dog I have ever known. Part of this is due to the fact that she has epilepsy and has been spoiled because of it. Anyway, it is hard to see her mustache because it is white-on-white. Kind of reminds you of a mafia hit-person, no? There's allot of Italians in Argentina... but I digress. There's a mustache there though, and it is pretty good, but not as good as mine, but I'm a guy, so mine should be better, right?

OK, then there is Borges, a male and Luisa’s father. When he hangs out in the back yard, he takes great pleasure in peeing on my kayak. On the other hand, he keeps people from trying to steal it too, so I guess having to hose off the boat is worth it. He’s a serious dog – 125 lbs of pure muscle and boar/bobcat-hunting mite. This is him when he was younger.

Here he is now - he turned eight this year so he’s getting old - nice ‘stache though, huh? I think mine rivals even the old boy’s , don’t you?

King Me!

2008-07-28T18:24:00.000-07:00

Today is a sad day for me. It marks my final post in this year's Mustache King competition. I wish the contest would run year round so I could go on more adventures with my 'stache. But alas, all good things must come to an end and that end has come.

Questing Part 4: The challenge - 1. Kayaking 2. With an Animal 3. Playing a Board Game. So I figured, why not combine all three? It took me a few days to work out the logistics and I think these photos capture the essence of the quest. It was quite a challenge to find a life sized rabbit that was willing to get in a kayak AND play a game of checkers at the same time. (A special thank you to Danny Doran, the fuzzy bunny). I won't say who won the game but it was easily the most intense game of checkers that I've ever played. The hair above my lip isn't the only thing that has grown during this contest. I have a new outlook on life and feel the need to spread the joy of the mustache to everyone I meet. I think I'll be keeping the 'stache indefinitely, it's done wonders for my social life.

Until next year,
MBG

What goes with the perfect stache

2008-07-27T16:24:00.000-07:00

But what you may ask? Well the story starts with the final and last quest for the those who are not lip hair deprived. Thru my dealings at work I meet many people and creatures some of which maybe interchangeable. First lets start with the choices I had to go with like a pile of coyotes also note the many other choices. But I had only really one choice when looking thru a 4000 sq ft tent of animals a plethora of Noah's ark. But the age old question what goes with the best stache out there.

But I chose well you see:

Well, see you all on the James or in the Surf.

Charles

Fiberglass Petting Zoo

2008-07-25T15:27:00.000-07:00

I recently had the pleasure of visiting a fiberglass petting zoo. If you ever take 74East towards Wilmington, North Carolina, you should stop by and say hello to Betty. She's the zookeeper of the wonderful facility that houses such exotic animals as flamingos, horses, bears and a pegasus.

Mr. Ed was kind enough to allow me this heroic pose with him.

This little guy was not as kind. I tried to put my arm around his neck and smile for the camera, but he decided he had better things to do with White-tip looming that close to his mouth. I don't think he's a fan of the 'stache. I'm extremely thankful there was a camera nearby to document my escape. Thanks to my mythical strength I have acquired since growing the 'stache, White-tip and I were able to escape unscathed.

And lastly, this is Charlie the flying pegasus. I tried to catch up to him and get my photo taken, but every time I got near him, he flew away. This was about as close as I got.

Onward mustache, onward.

Your final quest

2008-07-22T08:11:00.000-07:00

Athletes, Moo-stache Ambassadors, Ladies, Gents, Fans,

Weeks 7-8: The final quest has been exhaled by the Great King of Mustaches. Show us your mustache while...

A. Kayaking
B. With some sort of animal
C. Playing a board game

Don't forget your epic quests...

Epic Quest list: (you may complete THREE of these over the course of the ENTIRE contest)
1. You (and 'stache) posing with someone famous
2. You underwater
3. You and your 'stache on your driver's lisence, student ID, or other identification card.
4. Indiana http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifJones and the Temple of 'Stache
5. Appear on TV either locally or nationally
6. Speaking in front of a large group of people
7. Doing a trick on a Skateboard or BMX
8. Wearing a HeeHaw Jones t-shirt
9. At Best Buy or Circuit City with one of the employees
10. Posing with one of the cast members of Night of the Living Donkey

The winner of the 2008 IR Mustache King, aka, 2nd Bi-Annual Curt Davis Invitational Mustache Growing Contest of Paddlesports, will be announced in early-mid August via the Rapid Transit Video Podcast. Go to your iTunes music store and search for Rapid Transit to subscribe for free. Or visit the web site and click the Podcast link at RapidTransitVideo.com

Signing off,

The Mustache King

I-Stash

2008-07-21T18:09:00.000-07:00

I guess we're in the home stretch now. I'm a bit tardy with this one... but that doesn't mean I'm giving up... ya'll think you can match what the I-Stash has in store... ha. Yeah... that's one of the nicknames I've attained in these last few weeks from one of my coworkers named Melissa. Although most just refer to me as Stash. This is me with my friend Shelly who works at Doc Cheys from about half an hour ago. I'm at the end of yet another wonderful weekend of shit running and chillin in the greater Asheville area and I realized last night that I needed to check in before I finish blowing the rest of the competition out of the water with my finale posts!

Exploitation, Cattle, and Wilford Brimley

2008-07-21T13:09:00.000-07:00

Good Afternoon Ladies and Gentleman. My recent adventures have been plenty. I still find myself sharing a special connection with mirrored lens sunglasses and Pontiac Firebirds. More recent times White-Tip and I have culled from my inner Wilford Brimley. I find myself annoyed by the more mundane and youthful things of life. Mustaches don't have time for those things. I don't even have time to shave. My mustache keeps the rest of my facial hair at bay. The other hair follicles have developed inferiority complexes and prefer to not compete with the prominence of White-Tip. Kind of like everyone else vs. Chuck Norris. Beneath my mustache isn't an upper lip. It's another mustache.

In a special quest note, July 11th was national cow appreciation day. I figured, what better to do than visit my local Chick-fil-A and spend that time in a cow suit.

Me and my server bonding over tasty fruit cup and waffle fries. Notice I hold my wallet in my hand, cow suits don't have pockets.

And of course, with the renowned Chick-Fil-A cow. Some people want their picture with a celebrity, aside from Brangelina, who's more celebraded than Hilda heifer?

"Eat Mor Chikin"

The Sextache Diaries Vol 4

2008-07-20T20:26:00.000-07:00

Wow, this competition is certainly hotting up! Speaking of Hot, it's fricking hot here in Vietnam: over 40C (that's 104F to all you Imperial Drones, seriously guys, go metric). That's right folks, since the competition started it's been 3 countries and 1 great 'tache. Even though I'll be taking 1st prize when the competition ends at the end of the month, I plan on keeping the sextache for a couple weeks more to allow me to spread the hairy word to Cambodia - that's just the kind of guy I am.

I've noticed that a few competitors have stepped their games up a notch for this round of the challenge. Too little too late in my opinion but I'm also willing to go that extra mile. I have therefore decided to complete all 3 of the possible quests.

Here goes:

A. At a restaurant with your waiter/waitress

Oh come on! Seriously you guys!

Shortly after taking this photograph, the waiter handed in his resignation to persue the dream of growing a moustache of his own. He subsequently opened the first Laos Mustache Accademy last weekend

B. You at the grocery store holding an embarrassing product

A little trickier for me. Anyone who has been to Asia will know that there are a distinct lack of grocery stores in the area. With dogged perserverance, I managed to track one down. Unfortunately for me, the Female Hygene section is something of a no-go area for men. I had to be quick...and stealthy.

Being a 6 foot tall guy with a bad-ass sextache and sunburn in a continent of short people doesn't exactly lend itself to stealthyness...It was all good in the end, I even got a helpful sales assistant to take the photo. No matter how much she wanted to, I wouldn't let her touch the 'tache.

Nobody touches the tache...

C. Your favorite scene from Star Wars...Mustache edition

Intriguing...Being a fourth level Jedi, I am knowledgable in Star Wars. Being a fourth level Jedi, I am also quite the mind reader if I do say so myself.

Bearing this in mind, I chose not only my favourite scene in Star Wars, but every red-blooded males favourite scene!

That's right, the Gold Bikini scene...behold!

The gauntlet has been thrown down. The stage is set, one post left, winner takes all!

Really, it's...the smell...

2008-07-20T19:32:00.000-07:00

Ya know, I really didn't know that overdoing it in terms of the number of hours I was sitting in a kayak could have adverse physical affects on me. On Saturday, I found out the hard way. On Saturday evening, I went to the Supermarket in search of relief.

Now mind you, I wasn't completely sure what was wrong with me, only that I was experiencing some odd and sometimes painful events surrounding pooping. So I spent some time perusing the array of available remedies to figure out what might work for me.

After some shelf searching (and some more soul searching), I found what I apparantly needed. Then I got in line, and bought what, much to my chagrin, I apparantly needed.

Now, if I can only buy back my self respect. Oh, and, thanks allot - home from college for the summer cashier dude - for drawing everyones' attention to my purchase. Yeah, thanks, friend. I bet you can't even grow a stache like this one. Don't worry, a couple a days of this and I'll be riding the porcelain chariot like a champ again, mustache style. HUAH!

Sometimes...

2008-07-20T19:24:00.000-07:00

...it's better to find out sooner rather than later.

I've already got enough kids to drag around anyways.

No need to add any more.

What's more embarrasing go to or picking out

2008-07-20T18:51:00.000-07:00

But the stache got me thru it all. With all my travelling about the stache has got me many of looks many are from those that are in envy and so should you all. This was taken at Wal Mart I was just embarrassed to going that place but I did go when it was most interesting 2am. well You can try to catch a glimce of the stache on my many weekly runs onn the James in Richmond Va.

Cheech Marin ain't got nothin on me

2008-07-19T19:29:00.000-07:00

I posted this picture on Facebook for my high school reunion and the response has been puzzling. People say I look great which makes me think, do I look better now? Maybe my entire self image was completely wrong. Looks like I've found my true self. By the way, I bought this baby straight cash.

Mustache Diaries - Week 4

2008-07-19T15:13:00.000-07:00

A busy fortnight culminated in my 23rd birthday, so I rounded up my family and we headed to 'Sombreros Mexican Cantina'. After consuming various burritos, tacos, fajitas and drinking bastante cerveza I managed to convince one of the waiteress's to pose with me for a photo. The manager even provided me with a fabulous Mariachi hat to top off the photo. Viva los mexicanos! Viva la dirty sanchez.

The restuarant had a great selection of hot sauces; here I'm holding a bottle of 'See dick burn' and 'Alien Anal probe'

Myself and the waiteress, unfortunately the guitar had no strings so I couldn't serenade the waiteress with my great selection of canciones....

One post to go...

Antz

I Ain't Hatin', I Just Heard Better

2008-07-16T19:52:00.000-07:00

Ahh, another week of questing with my dirty little 'stache. I'm becoming rather attached to my furry friend and I've even inspired a few people to grow a 'stache of their own. This two week period started off with some paddling down in WV, which I expected to be a brief hiatus from the questing world. However, I ran into someone famous and was able to pose for a picture! (count it, Epic Quest #2 for me) Ever heard of the Glen Millers shuttle? After running the Cheat Canyon at a nice 3.2' I had Glen waiting at the take-out with his ancient Chevy pick-up to drive me back to the rig at the put-in. What a guy. Anyone who's paddled the Cheat knows Glen Millers and his reputation for having the most hardcore shuttle around. I think the class-V drive added a few hairs to my 'stache. That man does not slow down for anything.

After returning from WV, I decided to take a trip to the local grocery store, Wegmans, to pose with an "embarrassing product". I headed over to the women's personal care section and found the shelves stacked with pads and panty liners... perfect! I had a bit of a dilemma trying to choose between Tampax Pearl and Always Maxi so I called over a helpful employee, Kara, to explain the differences to me. It's amazing what you can learn if you just ask. That's all for now, one more to go before you can crown me the King.
-MBG

Four Score and Seven...

2008-07-15T20:09:00.000-07:00

I took a little jaunt to visit the Lincoln Memorial today and I very carefully dressed for the occassion. I wanted to make sure that the scores of midwestern teenagers who had also made their pilgrimage to pay homage to this pillar of American history also knew about a more modern day American icon. You guessed it, Heehaw Jones.

As I put on my HeeHaw-J T-shirt (an unexpected present from my lovely, yet heretofore unimpressed with my Mustacheking quest, girlfriend) - I considered that, in truth, Lincoln and Jones have allot in common. Where Lincoln was ultimately able to free Americans from the abomination of slavery, Jones has been able to free Americans from the notion that you have to be good at something (or even actually do something) to turn pro at it. That's right, friends. You need no longer be a slave to your own mediocrity. You too can embrace the unpaid professional liberation! In fact, I propose that, once Jones has gone to meet his maker, we erect a memorial in his personage - something that will serve as a reminder to those men and women who missed the goal, were late to the finish, broke early on the wave, and flubbed the hole-shot that, it doesn't matter - when you're a pro.

So as I continue living through my mustache days and pornstache nights, I'll be comforted by the fact that there are men like Jones inspiring the youth of the world to greater heights, even if they fall from those heights and die in the process. Rock on HeeHaw Jones. Farewell my tiny dancer! Someday, your plastic likeness will adorn the dashboards of thousands of aging and poorly maintained American cars. I just hope I'm alive to see it.

P.S. If I win allot of money someday, I'm buying millions of these signs and posting them on river banks across the country, courtesy of the HeeHaw Jones memorial foundation, of course.

One Questache closer to the title...

2008-07-14T10:31:00.000-07:00

Fran & I have been very busy, now in our busy season, the 'stache has been getting lots of attention. The girlfriend encourages it, surprisingly, friends and family adore it. Fran's self esteem has sky-rocketed. We have been offered some crazy proposals in bars though, from the ladies of course. I have noticed that in other meager 'stache posts it has been mentioned how the lip on their hair scares children, ladies and others alike. Fran gets an opposite reaction, people have asked for appearances of Fran at parties, pictures with Fran & American Steele, store openings, the list goes on. Now don't get us wrong, Fran & I aren't trying to toot our own horns, but...

toot, toot.

We look forward to the next few weeks as the race comes to an end, and we wish all other competitors the best of luck, you are going to need it for what is about to come.

American Steele & Fran with our picture with Garret and his stache "White Tip" from "The Night of the Living Donkey" (one Quest down!)

Signing off,

American Steele & Fran "The 'Stache of Destiny"

ruminations

2008-07-14T08:48:00.000-07:00

As I wear the 'stache and begin to embrace it's value... I'm learning many things about myself and people's perception of me. The 'stache gives me instant credibility among trailer parks, sketchy parts of town, fellow mustachers, the greatest generation, and with the right apparel-the punk or alternative crowd. Mustaches are surprisingly nonconformist in the urban/alternative culture. As I moved across town this past weekend, me and White-Tip traveled and were introduced to many new and exciting people. Some with mustaches (whom I bonded with instantly), some with a pension, some without an income and all connected to me and White-Tip immediately, I like to think it's my charismatic personality, but we all know, it's the 'stache.

Thank you 'oh upper-lip-hair follicles. From Gerald McRaney, to Wilford Brimley, my mustache development continues. Onward...

Weeks 5-6 are upon us. Mustache competitors, brace yourselves...

2008-07-08T11:57:00.000-07:00

During these past two weeks the ultimate courage and steadfastness that it takes to be a real athlete, a competitor, has been shown by all of our remaining lip farmers. With the same vigor and competitive edge, we here at the IR Mustache King headquarters want to see you people embrace these next four weeks like they are the last you will ever live, and show the world that kayakers with mustaches mean business!

We give you your new quests:
Weeks 5-6:
A. At a restaurant with your waiter/waitress
B. You at the grocery store holding an embarrassing product
C. Your favorite scene from Star Wars...Mustache edition

Don't forget your epic quests...
Epic Quest list: (you may complete THREE of these over the course of the ENTIRE contest)
1. You (and 'stache) posing with someone famous
2. You underwater
3. You and your 'stache on your driver's lisence, student ID, or other identification card.
4. Indiana Jones and the Temple of 'Stache
5. Appear on TV either locally or nationally
6. Speaking in front of a large group of people
7. Doing a trick on a Skateboard or BMX
8. Wearing a HeeHaw Jones t-shirt
9. At Best Buy or Circuit City with one of the employees
10. Posing with one of the cast members of Night of the Living Donkey

White-Tip on public speaking

2008-07-08T07:52:00.001-07:00

Recently, I gave a speech to a group of children who were risking future mustache growth. I gave a very moving speech to around 30 youngsters on the perils of a caterpillar on your upper lip. Needless to say, they were all sufficiently terrified by the end of my speech.

"Don't grow up to be like me."

(ps- I apologize my photographer was unable to capture an image that displayed the entire audience in their shock-and-awe. I think the photographer was amazed by White-Tip and shot an entire roll focusing on my upper lip.)

The Stache is on the road, watch out america

2008-07-07T16:06:00.000-07:00

Here you go killing many birds with one stone. 1 epic event check out the stache underwater.

It is a little heavy when it gets full of water but I will deal with it. This was taken somewhere near the pipeline on the James in Richmond VA.

Now you want to see the the progress of the stache?

here you go, taken July 6th:

and as for my quest for this time period. It was hard to thing to chose what to do but I cheesed out and went for my myspace site.

Isaac Ludwig - Life as Usual

2008-07-06T19:35:00.000-07:00

If boating is a sporting event then I guess you could say that I'm a super hero of some sort in that realm. It's been a busy couple of weeks for me with work and whatnot in the midst of fireworks season. I don't get a whole lot of chances to get out there and take pics of myself... but luckily our customers love to buy pics of what we're doing with them. So here's a sampling of the stash doing much boating in the last few weeks from giving our owners' daughter her first kayaking lesson, to another kayaking lesson, rafting, crazy work days behind a computer screen, etc. My general week to week flow usually gets me out in a playboat on the Pigeon almost every day and running the Green Sun & Mon. I usually playboat alone, but I was able to get a shot on the Green with these sweet orange shorts I found in my closet... they were just screaming to be worn with the stash.

I'd throw up a facebook shot on here... but to be completely honest... I don't find much novelty in it since I've had a good stash rotation through that forum for the duration of the contest. You'll probably see a few of these photos on my facebook profile if you're connected to me through that forum.

Slimed

2008-07-06T09:43:00.000-07:00

First my campers tried to turn me into some sort of slime monster so I could fight evil.

Considering they forgot to add peanut butter or radioactive sludge to the mixture of stuff like buttermilk, cottage cheese, eggs, and grapes so it all came out when I had to chase some escaping junior counselors into the lake.

So I had to fall back to the tried and true Facebook. Blarg.

Mustache Diaries - Week 3

2008-07-05T18:58:00.001-07:00

Dear diary.

The last two weeks have flown by and the growth of my moustache has been outstanding. After returning from the North Island I had to immediately organise some magazine production details, and spent the remainder of the week packaging bikes for my casual work at Trail Journeys. The weekend came and it was time again to go and find some outdoor entertainment, I headed to the Queenstown Winter Festival. I spent an afternoon paddling and continued to sample the delights of the new Bliss-Stick Smoothy.

Then over the last week the new magazine arrived, so I spent many days popping back and forth between the local Post office, book-store and occasionally fixing bikes out at trail journeys. A few queer looks were received from the post office staff when I dropped off a few hundred magazines sporting a fresh set of handle-bars...

I'd been challenged to obtain a photo of my moustache at a sporting event, and after failing to get a photo at the local kayak polo finals I decided that Friday Night basketball was the key. After giving my camera to someone to obtain an action shot (see photo) I was a little disappointed... a picture of me on the otherside of the court and facing away from the camera didn't really do the trick. Although we did win our game and my mustache helped me to sink 3-pointers like Larry Bird did with his.

Instead I opted for the self-portrait of me watching the highly entertaining girls basketball game. I think my moustache may have made me look a little seedy watching the local high-school team and taking snap-shots.

I also took the opportunity to combine the tasks and the shot of me attending a sporting event also made its way onto my facebook page.

Happy growing fellow competitors, these handle-bars are in for the duration!

Antz

I no longer control the mustache. The mustache controls me.

2008-07-05T12:02:00.000-07:00

The Firecracker 5K was a great sporting event to showcase my mustache and I think any street cred I lost for pushing a stroller was offset by my snot encrusted lip jewelry. Also, a weekly road ride takes on new meaning when you're sporting a stache. The skin tight, effeminate clothing isn't as embarrassing anymore. I've found that it is very hard to detract from the utter manliness of a third eyebrow framing every word I speak although it does add creepification to every expression. There are some automatic conversions to normal daily life at present.

Some examples:

Smile=leer

Mouth=talking hair hole

Shirtless=swingtown

Stare=incarceration

I was in Walmart the other day and left with a flame colored "do-rag." Pre-tied so I couldn't mess up it's style. Somehow I think a month ago I might not have appreciated such an obviously kick butt accessory. Is the mustache influencing my very thoughts and actions? Inconceivable-for example, I've always meant to take up smoking Newports on the way to work at 7am, it just happens to be now that I choose to do it.

Serpico man...He's Serpico.

2008-07-05T02:27:00.000-07:00

Whatever... I am a crime-fighting super hero. Well, maybe more like a crime fighter in a Super Hero. Anyway, my real quest was working over 120 hours in the last two weeks. I know what you're thinking..."Not fair, not fair!!!" - "Policing and mustaches go hand and hand!" While that may be true in some instances, like if you're a Canadian Mountie or something (eh?), it is less true around here. I did, however, intially describe the mustache growing as an attempt to get in touch with my "inner cop." Regardless, my fellow police officers continue to take great pleasure in finding ways to both, draw attention to and metaphorically describe my mustache growth. Hey, I'm happy to provide a source of entertainment in the otherwise dismal atmosphere of crime and punishment. What it may lack in generating respect and admiration among my peers, the 'ol mustache does provide an unspoken aire of authority and integrity when I deal with the public. Either that or it's just scary. I'm not quite sure which. In the end, we all know that in any confrontation - especially in determining the one, true, Mustache King - only one question really matters. Do you feel lucky? Well, do ya...punks?

inspriation for all you mustache pansies

2008-07-04T09:59:00.000-07:00

http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/pgStory?contentId=8304240#sport=MLB&photo=8303792

Diamond Legends of the 'stache

Freedom Is Not Free

2008-07-04T07:09:00.000-07:00

As I sat at home, contemplating the best way to attack this week's quest, I faced a dilemma. All three quests were feasible but I needed to find the one that would be the most embarrassing and would involve the most people. Yea yea, you can post your picture on facebook/myspace but you don't have to leave your computer chair to do that. Crossed that off the list. I was torn between the other two options; at a sporting event or as a crime fighting superhero. Then it hit me, I'll run a local 5K as a crime fighting superhero. Problem solved. This post is the result of that quest...

Crime Fighting Superhero - Captain America (reincarnated from his glory days with Marvel Comics)

The Crime - Non-patriotism

Solution - Spreading national spirit for the 4th of July.

July 4th, approximately 7:56 am, I toed the line for the start of the local Brighton Chamber of Commerce 5K. I figured the most appropriate superhero for this day was one that had to do with America and patriotism. I found some tacky, old t-shirts, two American flags, socks I could write on and I fashioned a cape out of a tablecloth. I was ready to spread some American pride. I think the other competitors were a bit intimidated on the line.

I got off the line hard and I think I was winning for a little while. I decided to slow down though, there weren't enough people in the lead pack and it wasn't the most effective way to spread the American spirit. I could see the faces of the spectators lighting up, their American spirits rekindled by my contagious enthusiasm. All in all, the race was a great success. I think that Rochester is finally ready to celebrate the 4th of July.

However, the crime fighting did not stop at the race. I headed over to the local Circuit City in hopes of getting a few more people excited about the holiday. Look at how happy this employee looks. He

loves America!

Before leaving, I decided to peruse the store. Nothing I found was quite patriotic enough. Oh well. Another day, another time.

I've come to learn through this contest that the Mustache King is not so much about the mustache itself, but rather what the mustache represents. Mustaches aren't meant to be locked away at home, they need to experience the world and spread the joy of the 'stache to everyone. I feel like I've done my 'stache proud this week.

Until next time,

-MBG

ice-cream mustaches and pretty ponies

2008-07-02T05:35:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the ice-cream is too good to let go. You just gotta leave it on there for a while and savor the flavor a little later...

The Sextache Diaries Vol 3

2008-07-01T21:46:00.000-07:00

Woah, It's been a busy couple of weeks. After successfully convincing the people of Thailand to grow more moustaches, I have turned my attention and my manly upper lip towards Laos. Unfortunately the interweb is sloy and unreliable most of the time here so I have to post when I get the chance.

First things first - the challenges.
Getting a photo outside a barber shop was a littly too easy, I decided to get a shave and style while I was at it.
I scouted around for a suitably hair salon that was worthy of trimming my almighty sextache, after a couple of hours I found one

I brought along a photo of Ron Burgundy to help as I briefed the barber on my requirements. I took a walk and came back later that evening for the big event.
Now I can't say for sure, but I think there may have been a bit of a language barrier. My Thai only goes as far as ordering beer but I'm pretty sure I didn't ask for a shampoo shave followed by a DRY SHAVE with a cut-throat razor.As you can see from the photos, both the barber and I had fear in our eyes that night. After a half hour of pain and adrenaline, I emerged with a styled tache but minus a layer of skin. Aftershave never hurt so much.

Next challenge: Underwater photography.
A trip to some nice waterfalls near Luang Prabang in Laos did the trick. I didn't think it was possible but if anything my sextache looks even better underwater than above - it must have something to do with the magnifying effects of water. While I was there, I took the opportunity to convince a few more people to grow mustaches of their own.

Facebook
Since changing my profile photo I expect to get a lot more friends requests.

As you can see from the photo, I am constantly being chased by girls on motorbikes, they just can't get enough of the tache.
Sorry ladies, this dude is taken! (although there is still a month to go and girlfriend is less enamored with my tache than expected. Something about ruining our holiday photos - women eh!)

From reading some of the other blogs, it looks like some of my fellow competitors are trying hard to stay in the game. Keep it up boys, puberty is bound to kick in any day now.

I have to get as much as I can here, it took me a while to find an internet connection reliable enough to upload photos

introducing the world to white tip...

2008-06-28T18:56:00.000-07:00

not much to say... the 'stache is taking over...

Myspace featuring the Stache

2008-06-26T15:10:00.000-07:00

Because I am not the wizard of the computer I can't figure out how to pull the link etc.. but it was under their feature fashion section. Have we started a fashion trend, Yes I am going to be the first kid on the block or not.

Quest Buy

2008-06-25T13:12:00.000-07:00

Well, I awoke this morning hearing that "...I love technology..." song (from ND) in my head and I thought, what better a day than this to go computer shopping! I figured I would "go native," as it were, and dress the part in the hopes of gett'in a sweet discount. So, I decide to go to Best Buy because, well I know where it is and it's the only place I know where you can buy a computer around here. Now, here I am figuring that these guys would think I was "one of them" and be more likely to deal with me when it was totally the opposite. I scared them.

This guy was standing with another Best Buy salesperson. That dude, looked at me sideways and bailed on my approach. The guy just kept talking to his customer completely ignoring me, even when I added some attitiude to my stance. Oh well, so much for strategy. These guys were not the least bit tech-y. Anything more than "power-on" may have been beyond their grasp. I was, however, a little afraid that this guy would turn around, put his hand on my head, and simply crush me - so I was stealthful in my escape.

Then I met this nice girl. She wasn't scared, brave soul. The power of mustache proved its might again as it charmed her into a world where all she could do was laugh when I talked to her. I was like "what???" In the end, no sweet discount, but the sweet sweet shopping memories would last forever.

Fran's first concert, not short of being claimed an epic quest in the name of Questache

2008-06-23T19:00:00.000-07:00

So......

Last night Fran and I attended the Citizen Cope concert at the Neighborhood Theater. We arrived right on time, cut through the line and made our way into the concert hall. after checking out the sights and surroundings (a huge mushroom statue, lots of lady's cleavage, over-priced merch booth, hot dog cart, and bar) we made our way down to the front of the theater. After a few polite shoves we found or spot just right of the front of the stage. Citizen Cope makes their way onto the stage, and the melodies begin.
We were having a great time enjoying being Irish Hand Cuffed with tall boy PBR's, while not forgetting our dancing shoes, listening to the sweet sounds of Citizen Cope's serenade which is resonating inside our ear drums. After a few songs and a quick trip to the John We brake away once again from the crowd and make a trip to reload our guns trigger fingers with another round. All of a sudden, two people deep from making it to the bar, the power fails. A sudden feeling of panic surrounds us, the pitch black darkness spreading its fingers to every inch of the theater and outside the building. The crowd begins to make it's way out the doors. Fran and I patiently await in the dark with hopes of the power turning back on. After about 10 minutes and 15 seconds the bar is finally given the go ahead to sell beer in the dark, cash only. We reload and begin to wander back down to the stage.
The theater has been deserted with only a few stragglers kicking cans in the corners. We see a small crowd gathering to the right of the stage. Not wanting to be left out we slowly approach the outer ring of the crowd and all of a sudden our eyes spot him, Citizen Cope, in all his glazed eyes & blank faced glory. Our Mustache senses quickly go off! Epic Quest #1"Picture with someone famous. We quickly react and push our way to the front of the crowd, we throw our friend Ben Lanier our new Sony Ericsson "Walkman" camera phone, S/N BD229D08HA, and request his help. With determination, he desperately tries his hardest to take the picture. A mixture of a lack of cooperation from Citizen Cope, bad lighting(near complete darkness) and missing pixels the picture doesn't turn out to what we had hoped. Citizen Cope leaves the crowd and us without a decent picture.
The power had turned off before I had snapped my Week 1-3 Picture at a concert Quest so I decided that a picture on stage would have to do. With the assistance of Ben Lanier again and with the addition of Josh Sands, Fran & I climb the stage. Ben fumbles with the camera and as he is about to land the sweet shoot, the stage hand notices me and quickly tries to remove us off the stage. With the mixture of Josh holding us up, the stage hand trying to push us off, and Fran & I standing our ground with shoves backwards, Ben tries again to take the picture. The picture is a miss and only catches the complete darkness of the concert hall, missing the magic and mayhem happening on stage. We jump from the stage and quickly run for cover in the empty theater.
After finally hearing the official announcement that Citizen Cope will not be returning to the stage and the show is canceled we make our way outside. After some pictures in front of the theater we head to the wagons.
A quick decision is made to not let the cancellation bring the night to and end. We decide to head to a favorite watering hole in town. The first denies us access because our Designated Driver (Always Drink Responsibly) Vaughn Corrum is under the legal age fro drinking. We then head next door and are granted access. We then begin our spiral upwards into delight and enjoyment, swapping stories, enjoying Avery's White Rascal and the laughter all around. The Questache ends in smiles and stumbling towards the wagons to safely carry us back to our residences.

Lesson: Find someone MORE famous, go to another concert and actually watch a full set with encore, bring a better camera with lighting and finally never let any obstacle stand in the way of your Questache.

Signing Off,
~The Real Deal, American Steele & Fran "The Questache"

Continue questing or set the building on fire. Mustache King Weeks 3-4

2008-06-23T08:24:00.000-07:00

Milton would just as well set the building on fire than give up on his Mustache Quest. He is an inspiration to you all, no doubt.

Obviously some of you are completely dedicated and stachetastic and others simply cannot follow the rules. Regardless, we have weeded out the weak links... plucked the undesirable hairs, so to speak, and are moving forward, to the salad days of mustache growth. To our unwavering quarter-finalists and captivated audience members we present to you weeks 3-4 quests for the 2008 IR Mustache King, aka 2nd Bi-annual Curt Davis Invitational Mustache Growing Contest of Paddlesports.

In the last two weeks some of you were determined enough to complete the first bi-weekly Quest of your choice. You were able to choose from the following list to have your mustache photo taken:
A. You in front of a barber shop or hair stylist
B. At a hospital, Doctors Office, Dentists office, or other waiting room.
C. At a concert

Your NEW Quests for Weeks 3-4:
A. You at a sporting event, either playing or spectating
B. Your 'stache as the profile pic on your Myspace or Facebook profile (shot of the screen)
C. You as a crime fighting mustache wearing super-hero

Don't forget the Epic Quest list. We have seen a couple of these show up already for which extra points have been awarded. You may complete THREE of these over the course of the ENTIRE contest.
1. You (and 'stache) posing with someone famous
2. You underwater
3. You and your 'stache on your driver's lisence, student ID, or other identification card.
4. Indiana Jones and the Temple of 'Stache
5. Appear on TV either locally or nationally
6. Speaking in front of a large group of peoplehttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif
7. Doing a trick on a Skateboard or BMX
8. Wearing a HeeHaw Jones t-shirt
9. At Best Buy or Circuit City with one of the employees
10. Posing with one of the cast members of Night of the Living Donkey

One last bit of info. I'd like to mention that three new Rapid Transit videos went live on our site within the last week. One of them just hit the web today. RapidTransitVideo.com

Reporting from The Mustache King headquarters,

Spencer Cooke

(inspired by all you brave athletes i tried a stache last week, but it only lasted an hour.)

Say hello to my little friend....

2008-06-22T20:06:00.000-07:00

I am posting this at 11pm on Sunday. The stache has really opened my eyes to a whole new world. I smiled at two little girls on bikes who were trying to climb a steep hill the other day but quickly averted my gaze when my wife stated, "you're creeping them-and me, out." I felt vindicated when pop pedaled around the bend sporting a sweet lip warmer that would have made Magnum proud.

I admit to having some uncertainty about completing this herculean feat. Can I last the full distance? Can I go without the affections of my wife for the duration? (cause that is where this is going) Will hair continue to grow into my mouth? Do I need to worry about a heinous snot mustache after I exercise? I ponder these weighty questions as I spiral off to dreamland. Good night, and remember my hero MC Hammer in his glory days with a mustache. Coincidence? I think not my friends. I think not.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzz............. -you can't touch this-............zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2008-06-22T15:21:00.000-07:00

As you all can see, my mustache is growing faster than salmonella tomatoes on miracle grow. I was unable to get my hair cut these past two weeks, or visit the dentist, alas, what I missed in my assignment, I will compensate for with some audacious and humiliating photographs that will make your mother cry.

Signal Every 10 Seconds

2008-06-22T09:04:00.001-07:00

Yup it's foggy, and the fog horn has been the most recent background noise for my life. So I decided it would be a good idea to ship the camera off to get repaired which leaves me in a fix myself. But I have a little camera which works everyone in a while. Now that almost all the boats are in or near the water for the summer I can go play.

The fog went out this morning so I got to paddled over to the hospital.

The small camera won't focus on the blond mustache. People have started to suggest that I might need a coloring product of some sort. Whatever it's enough to notice across the room. It'll be fun meeting my campers parents tomorrow and saying "Ya I'm the guy who is going to take your kids out of state so that they can go play in the woods."

You fools better layer on the Rogaine

2008-06-22T08:13:00.000-07:00

The stache is growing thick and ready to conquer the competition. We've already conquered one epic quest together, and we'll be unleashing the secret weapon soon. Hope you boys out there are doing your mustache exercises.

My Mustache & Me

2008-06-22T05:50:00.000-07:00

My Mustache (Fran) and Me .... We have been very busy lately, last night we helped host the Highland Brewery Beer Dinner at the USNWC and tonight I am treating Fran to a lovely little showing of Citizen Cope at the Neighborhood Theater in NoDa. Fran has been going through the initial growing pains, but has kept it's hair high. It always gets comments on how great it looks and the ladies love it. Fran and I sleep sound at night knowing the greatness to unfold. Well, we are off! Work beckons us to the forefront of the battlefield to hold back the lines of naked lips.

Signing off,
American Steele and Fran "The Championship Lip"

Rolltastic

2008-06-21T16:25:00.000-07:00

Well, here's the three week maturation of my facial hair. Since I started competing in this life-changing contest, my girlfriend has started working ridiculously long hours - which, I'm convinced, she's doing on purpose just to avoid kissing the mustache. At my job, I've been accused of having lost a bet by upwards of twenty co-workers and been called names like: a.) Fu Man Chu b.) Pedophile c.) Poncho Villa and d.) Pornstar. Ah, humilation..., well pornstar wasn't so bad because it is soooo true. Anyway, I have to go back there for more of the same in a couple of minutes.

In other news, I finally got my roll today. While some might credit the expert tutelage of my instructor, Nick, I'm going to believe it was the Power of Mustache. Feel the power, you know you want to.

QUIT NOW SUCKERS BEFORE YOU GET TOOO DEEP

2008-06-21T16:09:00.000-07:00

for all you little boys playing this game, bail now, the women aren't going to like you anyway with or without the stache. After spending time on the BEACH this week I have pocket full of numbers and its all due to the STACHE...and maybe my surfing skills. Don't you guys wish you lived at the beach?

OK, so I admit until now I was in this for the loot, but it all came to me when I was at sports clips to get my picture taken and they asked me in. That is when they noticed "The Stache."

Isaac Ludwig - Checking in from the Pigeon River

2008-06-21T08:12:00.000-07:00

I love doing things like this because what you're playing with is dissociating yourself from your physical appearance. One always finds out that people hold onto an idea of what you should like and react based on that prefabricated idea.

All that aside I've been going about my day to day life and have managed to successfully hone in on some of the quests we've been assigned. In the normal flow of the first two week of facial hair growing glory the first event I would like to touch on is an issue that hits close to home. When I was in college I was quite active in various issue based political items. After I graduated college I spent a lot of time on the road, which didn't lend itself to acting much on issues like this. Since I've moved to Hartford, TN I've had the opportunity to get involved in some local issues again. One of these issues is the water quality of the Pigeon River.

The latest in this 100 year saga of pollution from a paper mill in Canton, NC brought a group of people to Nashville, TN for a day at the capitol. We started the day meeting up with my state representative Eddie Yokley. This is an important enough issue for this area that he dedicated the entire day to this issue. After meeting and lunch our first stop was a public bill signing with Governor Bredesen. This bill makes sure the water testing is done in center of the Pigeon River when the hydroelectric plant is on. This is a small step in the right direction but a necessary part of the process that will give us accurate data of the water quality. After the bill singing we had a meeting with the TN Division of Water Quality. That was a very productive meeting... and you'll hear more about the details in the near future. In the mean time check out the article of the bill signing featuring the stash!... here.

The next step, which should have probably happened before I went to Nashville, was a haircut. I don't usually go to barbers... so I imported a beautician named Mary Sue who trained to be one of our guides this spring. She had to go home to take care of family business for the rest of the summer, but she still likes to visit us sometimes. A little exercise was necessary before the session... and for the record Oscar's handstand was not staged... that's just the way he rolls.

The final appearance the stash made was for the ribbon cutting of Rafting in the Smokies new kayak shop. My state rep, mayor, etc. came out and flattered me with some kind words about fighting for the river, etc. You can see the entire gallery from the ribbon cutting here.

The Sextache Diaries Vol 2

2008-06-19T04:58:00.000-07:00

Well, 2 weeks of stubble came to fruition on June 14th when my rugged good looking designer miami device was sculpted into the epitome of manliness. I won't lie to you, it was a tough decision to decide which style of mustache - or sextache as it has become to be known - to chose.
Ultimitely the decision was narrowed down to the big 3:
1. The Burt Reynolds
2. The Tom Selleck
3. The Ron Burgundy
In the end, there was no competition; Burgundy is king. And so it came to pass...Behold, witness the birth of The Burgundy Mark 2!™

The effects were instantaneous. As I called to the reception of the Bangkok flophouse we were staying in, the receptionist was rendered speechless for a few seconds. When she finally got a grip, she tried to casually remark that I had changed and asked me if I had a haircut.
"It's just the tache honey, it's just the tache"
Later that night - the night the photo above was taken, I was propositioned several times, mainly by females.
Mainly, my girlfriend was not impressed. I have explained that now that I am sporting the Burgundy Sextache™ it's just something she's going to have to get used to...I think she's coming round.

My next mission was to 'accidentally' lose my ID card in order to fulfill the requirements of epic quest #3. No Problem. Getting a replacement...problem.
Eventually it came to pass. Photos were exchanged along with unreasonably large amounts of cash and I became a card carrying mustachioed man. Something to show my grandkids along with the grand prize in years to come.

The quest continues...

All Hail the King

2008-06-18T18:27:00.000-07:00

Fellow competitors, I feel that I should apologize before I begin this post because there is no way any of you will be able to beat me after this week. I expect resignation letters from the majority of the "competition" later in the week.

This week brought me to one of the biggest events in the city of Rochester. The Rochester International Jazz Festival. Going on the 7th annual year, the festival boasts an attendance rate of over 100,000 people. There is no better venue for displaying a fine 'stache and getting your groove on in your paddling gear. You wanted a concert, you got it! I'd estimate that I was 20+ years below the average age of the festival goers and the mustaches were all the rage this year. I fit right in with the crowd. Clad in my PFD, skirt and helmet I was ready to conquer the jazz festival and show Rochester what it takes to be the real Mustache King.

My concert of choice was the Wild Magnolia's, a New Orleans band that can truly bring down the house. Of course I had to wait in line to guarantee a seat in the crowded Harro East Ballroom. I fit right in with the upper class citizens dressed in their fancy evening clothes. Who says a PFD isn't classy?

The music brought the crowd to their feet and I felt right at home dancing with the locals. Unfortunately, I can't directly post the videos here because the blog says there is an "error". These videos are way to sweet for this blog to handle anyways. Here are the links to the two videos. First, I got my dance on with the two guys in traditional indian dress. (see link to YouTube video). Following this, a number of audience members were invited to the stage and I was able to showcase my talents for the whole crowd. (see link for 2nd video) Notice the plethora of cameras capturing the scene in the first video. Now that is what I call a concert!

You might as well shave the 'staches and hang up the cameras because this contest is over. All hail the mustache king!

To be continued...

-MBG

The Mustache Diaries... continued

2008-06-15T17:06:00.000-07:00

A few weeks have past since I said goodbye to my stubbly appearance, being clean shaven made me look young, fresh and most of all handsome. Being handsome has it's drawbacks; ladies throwing themselves at me, men want to be me, and children idolize me.

This new found fame has meant that I needed to escape, so a road-trip was in order. 4 Kayaks, 4 bikes, a truck and a nice long drive.

We're now in the North Island of NZ where I plan on showing off my upperlip, but unfortunately there are have been camera issues. A few photos to wet your appetite are below, will be back in home territory for the next posting and there is a few bold-moves coming from the NZ moustache camp...

You'll be amazed at the various colours that my mustache hairs have adopted!
Some will match my beautiful brown hair, others a blossoming shade of orange, others dark black...

Here comes the multi-coloured mustache parade...

The girls start swarming...

Nothing beats blowing a few bubbles to attract even more attention to the moustache.

A kayak trip isn't a kayak trip until the vehicle is almost overloaded...

Antz

A Word fom jHo....

2008-06-12T07:32:00.001-07:00

Hey folks, I've been diligently devouring every bit of mustache fueled buffonery exhibited here, and I must say I'm already duly impressed and shamed with the performance I've seen here. Not since my 8th grade petition to have my middle school buy every student their own donkey have I seen so much heart go towards such a worthless endeavor!

But to those willing to look like fools must ultimately go my eternal respect, so keep it coming, the world is watching. Look for my biting, scathing, ego decimating comments on each of your posts soon! Remember, the more hateful they are, the more they are filled with my love!

Viva la mustache!

Joey "jHo" Hall

Nada surf, Nada haircut

2008-06-11T12:54:00.000-07:00

So, I decided that, due to the repressive heat on the East Coast this week, and to further accentuate to prominence of whatever it is that continues to grow on my upper lip, I thought I might get a haircut. Of course, I’m broke, so I figured I would try to sell this old Lightning paddle that’s hanging around my house for twenty bucks. That’s enough to get a haircut and a sweet deal for the average used kayak paddle buyer. So, I went to a couple of barber shops here in town to see how I would fare in selling my wares, or the paddle at least .

I got kinda lost look’in for a place to get my haircut. The first place I happened upon looked cool, but I realized, after banging on the door for a few minutes, that it was out of business.

There didn’t appear to be allot of kayaker-types in this neighborhood either. Regardless, I pressed on hawking that paddle to anyone who would listen. I finally found a barber shop that looked like it had pretty decent haircuts to offer and a bevy of passersby for paddle-pitch'in.

I hate to say it, but, well I didn't sell the paddle. Worse yet, I still haven't gotten my haircut. This is pretty much what happened the whole time:

I won't tell y'all what that guy threatened to do to me when he turned around. Yeah, he can talk but he's no Samurai. I'm a freak'in Samurai!!! But, hey, it's cool. Check the 'stache Joe. Even the 1970's are jealous. Aww yeah.

to the pain

2008-06-08T19:07:00.000-07:00

I have arrived. Although, I am a tad late, I assure you my face was shorn last week. The blonde stache begins its quest at a disadvantage due to the color of its stems and not the content of its character. However, I promise that what my stache may lack in prominence, I will bring forth with great vengeance and furious fluffiness.

Come on, feel the noise,... you're all going down... especially you Gaylord Focker.. that's right, Ben Stiller is going down to the G-man.

-Ska-douche

Slim Jenkins Signs On

2008-06-07T21:17:00.000-07:00

On January 18, 1985 Christopher Aaron Stafford was born into the world. He soon became known as the notorious Slim Jenkins. The Jenk as he now likes to be called resides in a barn just outside the small town of Charlotte, NC. He currently paddles anything plastic. He was recently spotted in a Rubbermaid Spacesaver Bin boofing gorilla on the Green River. Now he comes to dominate the sport of lip hair growth.

Waiting till the last minute

2008-06-07T21:00:00.000-07:00

nothing better than waiting for the last minute.....

So my birth name is Nicholas Dowling, most just call me The Real Deal American Steele. I reside from the great state of ALABAMA! currently living in Charlotte, NC doin my thing.

I curently paddle a liquid logic Lil' Joe. I still consider myself a beginner, but don't underestimate the power of this lip. DUN DUN DUN!!!

look forward to the competition, may the best lip win.

vine ripened mustache; perfected with age

2008-06-07T19:32:00.000-07:00

Jim Johnson. Baraboo, Wisconsin.

Jim paddles a 17' alumicraft and the butts of any little hooligans that get out of line. He's also had a mustache since he was in the seventh grade which was before most of you were born. Game on.

Mustache Season...the most wonderful time of the year

2008-06-07T19:18:00.000-07:00

Will Johnson. Chicago Illinois. Wave Sport Z, NDK Explorer.

I've been waiting 2 long years for another shot at the title and I'm not going down without a fight. I heard somewhere that the way they make those bearded ladies in the circus is; they dry shave 'em for weeks. So that's what I been doing in preparation for the competition.

Lovin' it strong.

2008-06-07T19:17:00.000-07:00

My name is Ben Kinsella, repin' it here in Bozeman with my Buddy Pat (also in the comp.) I'm not much of a facial hair dude, but since Pat is doing it, I feel the need to fury it up... I'm a lil under the influence writing this.... so sweet! let's party! I'm growing a stach! WOOOOOHHHHHH!!!!!!! Here's to the Montana Boys, we sleeps in caves and ditches, when the women are scarce will **** a bear cause we're mean son's o'b***hes!

Whammy!!

2008-06-07T18:53:00.000-07:00

Patrick Rogers, 22 yrs, Bozeman Montana. I paddle the Pyranha M3, Liquid Logic Ronin, and don't forget about the worlds sickest kayak, the Original Eskimo Topo! Montana, where the Men are Men, and Soo are the Woman! So I ain't scared!

Let the madness begin...

2008-06-07T18:03:00.000-07:00

Eben Smith, Norwich CT Dagger Nomad 8.5, Eskimo Salto (til today when it broke)
Well, here goes nothing. Let's see if I can stack up to the competition this year.

I accept your nomination......

2008-06-07T17:40:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone, here are a few photos from my acceptance speech for the white water party's official Mustache King nomination...... Needless to say, I'll be paddling a long and hard campaign towards a bushy victory. Starting in Pittsburgh, PA, I will be riding in my bliss-stick RAD, or maybe my Jefe while blazing the campaign trail all the way to a victory in hair town. Remember to register with the white water party so you can rock the mustache on lip-hair day.

-Raymond Capone

Because there's a molester-stache in every one of us...

2008-06-07T14:44:00.000-07:00

Greetings from the classic city, where the mustaches are as bountiful as the beautiful women.

The down-low:

Name: Brooks

Craft of choice: Mint-condition perception pirrhouette (because boofin' in a long boat is way better)

Interests: boofin', cycling, and facial hair

Dislikes: People who get in my way in the dining hall at school

I'm bringin' that stanky, in your face mustache pain. I will make Mike Tyson himself cry on bended knee at my feet with the 'stache i've got coming your way. Leave your half-hearted attempts at peach fuzz at the door fella's (and gals) because ima ' bout to let these hair follicles out of their cage...

I aim to make ol' Burt Reynolds proud come the end of may, so game on.

Brooks-Athens, GA

Mustache Growing - A Gentleman's Sport

2008-06-07T11:52:00.000-07:00

Casey Cunningham

Fayetteville, WV

Wavesport Habitat 74 and an old All-Star.

I've decided to table my boyish good looks for the time being to grow one ridiculously fuzzy lip. I'm striving to grow the kind of mustache that will make babies cry.

Game on...

The Mustache Rides Again.

2008-06-07T10:17:00.000-07:00

I was talking to my upper lip the other day... about real estate. Seems we're in the midst of a crisis– too many sub-prime something-or-others. Coupled with talk of recession, flooding over here, drought over there, it's all heading down hill. But I'm sitting on one of the primest 4.75 square inch pieces upper-lip real estate in Pittsburgh. Believe me I've had offers. But everyone knows property is worth even more when you develop it. Welcome to Mustache Ranch...

clean shave

2008-06-07T09:51:00.000-07:00

Howdy from DC. I am a lost Southerner in a land without sweet tea or fried chicken. In fact, I don't even have a car here because of the parking craziness. This puts a damper on my kayaking, but I get by via watching videos, pretending in my bath tub, and growing strange patterns of facial hair. Originally, I am from Wilmington, NC and I grew up surfing and whitewater kayaking. Then someone suggested surf kayaking and I fell madly in love. Sadly, in the past year, I have only had the opportunity to surf kayak twice. I am hoping this blog will remind of the good ol days when I could go surf kayaking any time I wanted to. Anyway, here is a picture of me (above) with a 2008 penny. Of course, the penny does a better job portraying the size of my head than the extra date. So here is a picture of me with the Tuesday Washington Post, after I was taken hostage by this blog and smacked around a bit (below).
That's all for now. Happy mustache growing!!

Surprisingly ill equipped to play

2008-06-07T07:03:00.000-07:00

Being of the lesser facial-hair growing persuasion, it's always possible I've bitten off more than I can chew. But what is the fun in doing things you know you can pull off?

Since I am already more or less clean shaven on a daily basis, I went the full nine and exactingly shaved everything else. I'm speaking, of course, of my big toes. It's true; I have a sprinkling of hair across the tops of my big toes. I ashamedly shaved it in high school, though more recently I have come to love the fuzz. So, with a tear in my eye this morning, we parted company.

To up the ante a bit more, I intend to chase after some of the world’s choicest monikers for the revered Moustache, fulfilling them to the utmost. I won’t let on which yet, but I will say that the mythic Lip Ferret would be a mighty undertaking indeed, as well as potentially life threatening.

Now I’ve been told that cold water/weather paddling will put hair on my upper lip, and while so far that’s done little but dissuade me, I fully intend to get out in my Wavesport EZG and Dagger Agent as much as possible for the next two months.

Game on, men.

---

Karja Hansen, Green Giant, Potomac Paddlesports, Washington DC

Let the growing begin

2008-06-06T03:07:00.000-07:00

Before: Hey Mustachiers!

I'm Enda Cleary from Galway, Ireland. I've sported a wide variety of facial furniture over the past few years but for some reason never a mustache. This is about to change, I can grow facial hair thick and fast; in fact, I just grew a beard and shaved it off (tache excluded) in the last 5 minutes.

Right now I'm in Thailand in the middle of an epic Round the World journey with my girlfriend. Along with growing a sweet tache, I'm going do my darndest to encourage more people here to work on their facial hair - especially ladyboys. Imagine how much better this ladyboy would look with a mustache, the possibilities are endless!

Just for the heck of it, I decided to shave off my hair too, it'll be interesting to see how it grows back over the next 8 weeks

After:
Clean-Shaved: 01 June 2008

I've been kayaking for about 10 years. These days I paddle a Pyranha S8 and a chopped-up Enigma squirt boat although I have lent them to a buddy while I'm away so it's doubtful if I will ever see them again. When I'm not squirtin', you'll see me river-running or surfing.

Enough dilly-dallying, it's time to grow some serious mustaches!

What a month can do

2008-06-04T10:28:00.000-07:00

What one single month can do. At the beginning of May I looked something like this:

Over 2000 miles of driving, 1 barber and a envelope to lock of love, 12 states, 4 razors, 3 days of kayaking lesson, 1 sisters graduation I now am ready:

Ok, now the about me-ish part: I'm Alex Kerney, and I live in Boothbay Harbor, Maine. I'm going to be a junior in the geology department at Colorado College in the fall. During the winter I volunteer at Arapahoe Basin Ski Patrol. During the summer I am the director of the Adventure Camp at the local Y day camp (I run the overnight part of a day camp). I've just gotten started whitewater kayaking, and I just got finished up with taking a 3 day Beginner II course down at Zoar Outdoor which was a hoot and I got to do this:

Now I am what most scientist describe as hooked. I've been sea kayaking most of my life, but really taught myself, which is probably makes it a good thing that my dad lost all our spray skirts. Now I'm trying to make some money this summer so I can get some whitewater gear of my own so I'm not always borrowing stuff from around school. That's called motivation people, It's on.

Isaac Ludwig - clean

2008-06-04T00:50:00.000-07:00

I guess the first part of this competition allows us to do a couple of things. The first two are at the core of this competition... show off our ability to grow (or in this case shave) some sweet body hair and make a public spectacle of ourselves. Since there aren't any themes or special quests in this first post this gives us to chance to introduce ourselves... and in some cases put some shameless promotion out there… don’t worry, I’ll keep it to the industry.

I'm Isaac Ludwig, I currently work for Rafting in the Smokies in Hartford, TN. What I do there depends on the day, but usually revolves around sharing this part of the world with people who want to have an experience of some sort on the river. We just opened a new paddling shop, which gives me a great excuse to spend more time out of my day focused on kayaking... which is hard to complain about. I currently have a 5 boats... a 420, two broken boats (a Nomad & a Storm) that have given me a lot of plastic welding practice and two 'race' boats (a Dancer and a WaveSport MicroX). My dad taught me how to roll when I was 16, while I was working at Scout camp. He later taught our neighbor Scot Loveland how to paddle. Scot has recently launched a new product called Paddle Grip which you can see represented through his Vintage Threads line that I’m sporting in these photos.

Chuck Norris Wishes he could grow a Stache like ME!!!

2008-06-03T18:57:00.000-07:00

What's up guys,

My name is Jake Etheredge, but my friends call me Jake Etheredge. I am officially gonna rock this contest!!! I may be the hariest individual ever created, I still can't believe I ever got dates. Chuck Norris wishes he could grow mustaches like me. Just to let you all know how dedicated I am, my wife is planning on cutting me off for the duration of the contest, but I will not back down.

I have been kayaking for a while. I currently have two primary boats. The first being a Pyranha 420 and the second being a Wavesport Habitat 74.

I live in Huntsville, AL. So if you guys see me on the Locust or the Ocoee wish me luck!!

Other competitors, be afraid!!!

Let the hair grow grow grow.....

2008-06-03T16:14:00.000-07:00

I shaved off an over year long growing of my goat tee, NOW that's commitment. My name is Charles and yes I kayak. I have been surf kayaking for some years now. and occasional make my way to the river. I live currently in a hotel in Toledo OH but in a couple days I think I might be at my home in Myrtle Beach SC. Then I will be going to Richmond VA to show off my manhood of a stache that I will be growing. So beware, and the stache will be great.

Freshly Shavian, for Day 1.

I'm gonna Rock your World!

2008-06-03T14:12:00.000-07:00

I've always looked to up great men such as Bo Darville (The Bandit) and Magnum P.I. These men were true legends when it came to rocking the stache. With this contest my fellow competitors and I will go through a life changing process. Our lip hair will grow and our friends and family will be forever changed for they to will see the power and greatness of the mustache.

My name is Paul Hubbard from Southeast TN. This will be my 8th year as a guide on the Ocoee and my 13th year of kayaking. I respect my fellow competitors, but they should know That I am The Mustache king

This is my mustache, there is only one like it...

2008-06-03T12:08:00.000-07:00

Finally, I get to compete in the contest that I was born to win. Take a good look fellow competitors and you'll start shiver'n in yer booties - a mustache could only improve this mug. Jeez, I hope I get fan mail. Do you think ther'll be fan mail??? I've been practicing my whole life for this opportunity. I hope to take my talents to the next level and become a professional mustached personality. I AM the next Mustache King.

As far as paddling is concerned, I'm actually kind of a newbie to whitewater kayaking in rivers. I spent allot of time in sea and surf kayaks a few years ago (and did some WW canoeing MANY years ago), but I've been re-discovering the sport on the river and I'm lov'in it. I paddle a speedy 'ol Jackson Super Hero of which I'm also a big fan.

I live in Washington, DC and, for the moment, you'll find me on the Potomac for the most part. I'm hoping to explore more rivers in Virginia and WV later this summer. If you spot me on the river and I look like I'm in trouble, assume the worst and, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE HELP ME!!! As for the mustache grow'in, I can handle that all by myself baby. Let the games begin.

The Moustache Diaries - Week One

2008-06-03T11:47:00.000-07:00

Kia Ora, Hola, G'day, Hey Bro

As a proud participant in the 2nd Curt Davis International Mustache Contest I would like to introduce myself;

My name is Anthony (aka Antz) Longman, I reside in the South Island of New Zealand, way down in the southern hemisphere. I currently publish and edit CUMEC Magazine, which is the only dedicated whitewater kayaking magazine in New Zealand & Australia.

I've had a few kayaks over the last few years including a stunning Pyranha Inazone 232; I called her Shazlene that's pronounced Sha-zzzz-lean. Unfortunately Shazleen cheated on me with a travelling kayaker from some exotic sounding European country. Luckily I got a payout from her which allowed me to buy a replacement kayak. Since Shazleen left I've paddled a whole bunch of Bliss-Stick Boats, plus a saucy black Jackson All-star. Although right now I'm using a Bliss-Stick Specialist and Mac-1 to rock my socks off when I get on the water.

A warning to my fellow mustache growers, I have previously spent a year living in Costa Rica where I was trained in the ancient latin art of the 'Dirty Sanchez' and with this knowledge my expectations for this challenge are high. I urge other competitors to tread with caution as my 'adopted latin blood' delivers a mustache unlike any other.

Hasta luego

Antz
www.cumecmagazine.com

Scouting Retrospect on the Kawarau River... that's a damn big hole....

A ferocious handle-bar mustache in a previous life?

Let the Growing Begin!

2008-06-01T17:08:00.000-07:00

And so it begins, the summer season of mustache growing where personal embarrassment and public humiliation is both encouraged and rewarded. I expect to be the youngest competitor in this summer's competition at a ripe 18 years. I have only a few years of experience in mustache growing but I'll be sure to make up for that in other ways. Competitors beware of the youthful energy and zeal that goes along with college paddling. I just finished my freshman year at Williams College in Massachusetts and couldn't pass up the opportunity for free gear and a summer filled with great stories.

I paddle two boats, the Riot Magnum 72 and Astro 54 and will be doing most of my paddling at the Lock 32 Whitewater Park in Rochester, NY this summer. Stop by and wish me luck if you're in the area!

Best of luck to everyone.
-MBG

Fresh faced and ready to rumble

2008-06-01T10:02:00.000-07:00

Ah, the wholesome glare off a freshly shorn upper lip. I'm glad that's in the past and scaring all who cross my path is in my future! I am also hypothesizing that a combination of prenatal vitamins, Little Debbie Fudge Rounds, and bpa enhanced drinking water will fuel me to victory. Bring it on suckers. Say goodbye to Gaylord Focker and hello to the spanish channel anchorman. Ah, yah, yah, yah, yahhhh!

Questing for the perfect Mustache

2008-05-27T06:25:00.001-07:00

To further educate the paddling community of the intricate inner workings of a Mustache Contest we have decided to disclose some info on how this finely tuned machine runs.

(you can't deny a man his perfectly good mustache)

Every 2 weeks competitors are required to provide at least 2 photos.
One of these photos needs to be a good close-up shot of your face so we can get a good look at your upper-lip.

The other photo will be from one of 3 possible bi-weekly "Quests", the topic of which will be provided to you at the beginning of each bi-weekly period.
You may choose 1 quest out of the three options, and no more than one. Each of these quest photos should (obviously) show you AND your mustache prominently.
Part of your score will come from your participation in these quests, obviously, the more creative you can be with them, the better, but you need to stay true to the spirit of each one.
Part of the nature of the contest is personal embarrassment, so the more willing you are to look like a fool, the better you will probably fare during the contest.

Over the span of the contest, you may also complete 3 (and no more than 3) Epic Quests from the Epic Quest list provided. You can do these at any time during the span of the contest, in addition to your manditory bi-weekly Quest. The Epic Quests are not required, but will give you bonus points when it comes time for our final judging.

Bi-Weekly Quests:
(Choose ONE per 2 week period)
Weeks 1-2:
A. You in front of a barber shop or hair stylist
B. At a hospital, Doctors Office, Dentists office, or other waiting room.
C. At a concert

(the latter weekly quests will be released as we move along)

Epic Quest list: (you may complete THREE of these over the course of the ENTIRE contest)
1. You (and 'stache) posing with someone famous
2. You underwater
3. You and your 'stache on your driver's lisence, student ID, or other identification card.
4. Indiana Jones and the Temple of 'Stache
5. Appear on TV either locally or nationally
6. Speaking in front of a large group of people
7. Doing a trick on a Skateboard or BMX
8. Wearing a HeeHaw Jones t-shirt
9. At Best Buy or Circuit City with one of the employees
10. Posing with one of the cast members of Night of the Living Donkey

Here's when competitors will be posting their photos:
June 1-7, cleanly shaven
June 8-21, mustache 1
June 22-July 6, mustache 2
July 7-19, mustache 3
July 20-31, mustache final

(Example of bad lip hair. Bad lip hair is sometimes good lip hair.)

Grow lip hair, win an IR Drysuit. It's almost that simple.

2008-05-13T18:04:00.000-07:00

There is a season just beyond the horizon where the talents of kayakers and lip hair farmers join forces to become one big idiotic mess all over the internet. This season is known as the Curt Davis Invitational Mustache Growing Contest of Paddlesports. This year IR has title sponsored the event to bring you The Mustache King 2008. As title sponsor IR will be providing their top-of-the-line DoubleD drysuit to 1st place as the grand prize. Yip, you read correctly. All you gotta do is grow a stache and you will be styling it up dry as a bone in a brand new drysuit. Check out the video for a little motivation.
Click to download video

Remember, only a mustache demands respect and is truly rewarded.

Enter while there's still time. Visit TheMustacheKing.com

Mustache season has come to a halt

2008-04-10T10:01:00.001-07:00

Lip Hair Fans,

Due to some unforeseen circumstances the Mustache King will be postponed until June 1st. The new contest dates are June 1 - July 31. There is still room for competitor entries so please feel free to enter between now and then. Visit TheMustacheKing.com for more info.

Besides, Mustaches are way more fertile during warm, summer temperatures.

Thanks, The Mustache King

Mustaches start growing on Tuesday, April 1st

2008-03-29T06:10:00.000-07:00

April fools? You be the judge of that. On Tuesday, April 1st a handful of the boldest paddlers from around the globe will show off their freshly shaven faces in hopes of becoming the next Mustache King.

Competitors start off skin to wind in hopes of having the finest stache on the planet two months from now, when the contest ends.

IR, the industry's leading kayak gear company, has put up the title sponsorship this year, setting the bar way up high. 1st Place wins IR's drysuit! People will do ridiculous things for an IR drysuit. Wait and see. Among the other prizes we have an Aquabound carbon 4 piece breakdown paddle, Shred Ready helmets, Mion shoes, Zeal Optics sunglasses, some Astral Buoyancy stuff. We also have a feed to WorldKayak.com for our blog, so you can keep up with the hairiness here or there, whatever makes you happy.

Go to TheMustacheKing.com to see all the details.

IR Presents: The Mustache King 2008

2008-02-14T15:00:00.000-08:00

We are up and running. Officially, Immersion Research, Confluence, PA based gear manufacturer is the title sponsor of this year's Curt Davis Invitational Mustache Growing Contest of Paddlesports. That name has a whole history that can be found on the 2006 event web site. The new web site for this event is http://TheMustacheKing.com Aside from IR we have six other awesome sponsors giving out huge prizes for this year's event. This competition is gonna be great. You will be able to keep up with the whole thing here or at our blog feed at WorldKayak.com, coming soon. If you are thinking of competing please be aware that there are only 40 spots that are available on a first come, first server basis.

Holy Crap!

2007-11-26T11:36:00.000-08:00

We are gonna do this again! In the spring is when mustaches bloom. Look out cause we will have a ton of really awesome prizes this time + new format, new rules... new facial hair! Sponsors, prizes and contest rules to be announced in the early new year, 2008.

This is shaping up to be a bi-annual contest. Look at the 2006 site if you'd like to stroll down memory lane. Effort.tv/mustache.htm