I guess I'm just one of those guys who's born with dazzling looks and amazing tache genes. I'll probably donate my body to science so mustache development can be studied in depth. Who knows, maybe someday every guy will be able to grow full and luscious face furniture.
On to the final set of challenges.
I realized that this is the kind of competition where you go big or you go home. With that in mind, I hit the road to find some whitewater in Asia and unleash the power of the tache. I graced the presence of my tache on the Maetang River. I pretty much destroyed it in my trusty rental Method Air. Ordinarily plastic paddles and a 1980s PFD look pretty weak, but with the tache in action, the gear takes on a whole new look - I like to call it Bad-Ass!
I figured I needed to go even bigger. I mean this is a Mustache Competition, not a grow-in!
Sure I could have found a plastic animal, a stuffed toy or asked a friend to dress up as an ass or something. Hell I could have probably hired someone to be my personal beast of burden for a while or maybe gone to an animal and ping-pong show in Bangkok.
But that would be the easy option. Instead I decided to track down the biggest land mammal on earth and compare body hair.
So that's what I did.
Say hello to Maggie
As you can see, the sextache has the same devastating effect on females of all species.
I see from reading the blog that most of my fellow competitors are banging on about the imminent demise of their lip hair attempts.
Here's a thought: Save The Tache!
Hell, if you do, some of you might just have ripe enough taches this time next year to be able to mount a serious challenge!
Personally, I think my sextache has earned the right to stay put for a little while longer.
I'm gonna keep it for a couple more weeks, maybe I'll try a few different styles, I might even extend the powerbars another couple of inches.
The possibilities are endless...
10 comments:
If this guy doesn't win it'd be a crime against fans of face furniture everywhere. Make the right choice people. Vote Sextache today.
Kayaking and taches have never looked so good!!
I'm not going to lie. The most inspiring 'tache of our times nestles 'neath the bad-ass nose of this adventurer. If this man fails to win, I'll lose faith in the whole damn system of facial hair competition.
This guy's been travelling the whole of South East Asia inspiring man and beast alike to grow a tache. He's a winner.
Nigel Mansell? Pussy. Des Lynam? Amateur. Even Tom Selleck bows before the might of the sextache, and so should you.
EPIC! Nothing more nothing less.
Do the competitors get to meet each other in a Las Vegas style winners' ceremony? It must be inspiring for them to bask in such hispid glory as this man displays.
This guy can seduce an elephant with his sextache! If thats not good enough to win then I dont know what is!
Ok, Enda HAS to win this! I'm his girlfriend and I LOVE the hairy top lip! It just finishes off his fabulously handsome face perfectly!
Post a Comment