The metamorphosis is complete and I feel closer to my caveman self; hairy, sketch, and reeking of previous meals. Watermelon lingers sweetly on a moustache. Chili not so much.
I would like to take this last opportunity to recognize the hero that influenced me the most in this competition(other than Milt Aiken and the "inconceivable" Sicilian from the Princess Bride) the world renowned magician Doug Henning. You may remember him from the muppet show where his many hair afflictions allowed him to blend seamlessly with Jim Henson's creations. His catch phrase was, "anything is possible in the world of illusion." You've got to respect an epic butt cut with A-frame stache over bedazzled Sgt-Peppers jacket.
Bravo IR for sponsoring this battle royale! I thank you for the experience and the knowledge I have lost as well as the respite from my wife's heretofore constant amorous attention.
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