Four Score and Seven...

I took a little jaunt to visit the Lincoln Memorial today and I very carefully dressed for the occassion. I wanted to make sure that the scores of midwestern teenagers who had also made their pilgrimage to pay homage to this pillar of American history also knew about a more modern day American icon. You guessed it, Heehaw Jones.

As I put on my HeeHaw-J T-shirt (an unexpected present from my lovely, yet heretofore unimpressed with my Mustacheking quest, girlfriend) - I considered that, in truth, Lincoln and Jones have allot in common. Where Lincoln was ultimately able to free Americans from the abomination of slavery, Jones has been able to free Americans from the notion that you have to be good at something (or even actually do something) to turn pro at it. That's right, friends. You need no longer be a slave to your own mediocrity. You too can embrace the unpaid professional liberation! In fact, I propose that, once Jones has gone to meet his maker, we erect a memorial in his personage - something that will serve as a reminder to those men and women who missed the goal, were late to the finish, broke early on the wave, and flubbed the hole-shot that, it doesn't matter - when you're a pro.

So as I continue living through my mustache days and pornstache nights, I'll be comforted by the fact that there are men like Jones inspiring the youth of the world to greater heights, even if they fall from those heights and die in the process. Rock on HeeHaw Jones. Farewell my tiny dancer! Someday, your plastic likeness will adorn the dashboards of thousands of aging and poorly maintained American cars. I just hope I'm alive to see it.

P.S. If I win allot of money someday, I'm buying millions of these signs and posting them on river banks across the country, courtesy of the HeeHaw Jones memorial foundation, of course.