Myspace featuring the Stache

Because I am not the wizard of the computer I can't figure out how to pull the link etc.. but it was under their feature fashion section. Have we started a fashion trend, Yes I am going to be the first kid on the block or not.

Quest Buy

Well, I awoke this morning hearing that "...I love technology..." song (from ND) in my head and I thought, what better a day than this to go computer shopping! I figured I would "go native," as it were, and dress the part in the hopes of gett'in a sweet discount. So, I decide to go to Best Buy because, well I know where it is and it's the only place I know where you can buy a computer around here. Now, here I am figuring that these guys would think I was "one of them" and be more likely to deal with me when it was totally the opposite. I scared them.

This guy was standing with another Best Buy salesperson. That dude, looked at me sideways and bailed on my approach. The guy just kept talking to his customer completely ignoring me, even when I added some attitiude to my stance. Oh well, so much for strategy. These guys were not the least bit tech-y. Anything more than "power-on" may have been beyond their grasp. I was, however, a little afraid that this guy would turn around, put his hand on my head, and simply crush me - so I was stealthful in my escape.

Then I met this nice girl. She wasn't scared, brave soul. The power of mustache proved its might again as it charmed her into a world where all she could do was laugh when I talked to her. I was like "what???" In the end, no sweet discount, but the sweet sweet shopping memories would last forever.

Fran's first concert, not short of being claimed an epic quest in the name of Questache

So......

Last night Fran and I attended the Citizen Cope concert at the Neighborhood Theater. We arrived right on time, cut through the line and made our way into the concert hall. after checking out the sights and surroundings (a huge mushroom statue, lots of lady's cleavage, over-priced merch booth, hot dog cart, and bar) we made our way down to the front of the theater. After a few polite shoves we found or spot just right of the front of the stage. Citizen Cope makes their way onto the stage, and the melodies begin.
We were having a great time enjoying being Irish Hand Cuffed with tall boy PBR's, while not forgetting our dancing shoes, listening to the sweet sounds of Citizen Cope's serenade which is resonating inside our ear drums. After a few songs and a quick trip to the John We brake away once again from the crowd and make a trip to reload our guns trigger fingers with another round. All of a sudden, two people deep from making it to the bar, the power fails. A sudden feeling of panic surrounds us, the pitch black darkness spreading its fingers to every inch of the theater and outside the building. The crowd begins to make it's way out the doors. Fran and I patiently await in the dark with hopes of the power turning back on. After about 10 minutes and 15 seconds the bar is finally given the go ahead to sell beer in the dark, cash only. We reload and begin to wander back down to the stage.
The theater has been deserted with only a few stragglers kicking cans in the corners. We see a small crowd gathering to the right of the stage. Not wanting to be left out we slowly approach the outer ring of the crowd and all of a sudden our eyes spot him, Citizen Cope, in all his glazed eyes & blank faced glory. Our Mustache senses quickly go off! Epic Quest #1"Picture with someone famous. We quickly react and push our way to the front of the crowd, we throw our friend Ben Lanier our new Sony Ericsson "Walkman" camera phone, S/N BD229D08HA, and request his help. With determination, he desperately tries his hardest to take the picture. A mixture of a lack of cooperation from Citizen Cope, bad lighting(near complete darkness) and missing pixels the picture doesn't turn out to what we had hoped. Citizen Cope leaves the crowd and us without a decent picture.
The power had turned off before I had snapped my Week 1-3 Picture at a concert Quest so I decided that a picture on stage would have to do. With the assistance of Ben Lanier again and with the addition of Josh Sands, Fran & I climb the stage. Ben fumbles with the camera and as he is about to land the sweet shoot, the stage hand notices me and quickly tries to remove us off the stage. With the mixture of Josh holding us up, the stage hand trying to push us off, and Fran & I standing our ground with shoves backwards, Ben tries again to take the picture. The picture is a miss and only catches the complete darkness of the concert hall, missing the magic and mayhem happening on stage. We jump from the stage and quickly run for cover in the empty theater.
After finally hearing the official announcement that Citizen Cope will not be returning to the stage and the show is canceled we make our way outside. After some pictures in front of the theater we head to the wagons.
A quick decision is made to not let the cancellation bring the night to and end. We decide to head to a favorite watering hole in town. The first denies us access because our Designated Driver (Always Drink Responsibly) Vaughn Corrum is under the legal age fro drinking. We then head next door and are granted access. We then begin our spiral upwards into delight and enjoyment, swapping stories, enjoying Avery's White Rascal and the laughter all around. The Questache ends in smiles and stumbling towards the wagons to safely carry us back to our residences.

Lesson: Find someone MORE famous, go to another concert and actually watch a full set with encore, bring a better camera with lighting and finally never let any obstacle stand in the way of your Questache.


Signing Off,
~The Real Deal, American Steele & Fran "The Questache"

Continue questing or set the building on fire. Mustache King Weeks 3-4

Milton would just as well set the building on fire than give up on his Mustache Quest. He is an inspiration to you all, no doubt.

Obviously some of you are completely dedicated and stachetastic and others simply cannot follow the rules. Regardless, we have weeded out the weak links... plucked the undesirable hairs, so to speak, and are moving forward, to the salad days of mustache growth. To our unwavering quarter-finalists and captivated audience members we present to you weeks 3-4 quests for the 2008 IR Mustache King, aka 2nd Bi-annual Curt Davis Invitational Mustache Growing Contest of Paddlesports.

In the last two weeks some of you were determined enough to complete the first bi-weekly Quest of your choice. You were able to choose from the following list to have your mustache photo taken:
A. You in front of a barber shop or hair stylist
B. At a hospital, Doctors Office, Dentists office, or other waiting room.
C. At a concert

Your NEW Quests for Weeks 3-4:
A. You at a sporting event, either playing or spectating
B. Your 'stache as the profile pic on your Myspace or Facebook profile (shot of the screen)
C. You as a crime fighting mustache wearing super-hero


Don't forget the Epic Quest list. We have seen a couple of these show up already for which extra points have been awarded. You may complete THREE of these over the course of the ENTIRE contest.
1. You (and 'stache) posing with someone famous
2. You underwater
3. You and your 'stache on your driver's lisence, student ID, or other identification card.
4. Indiana Jones and the Temple of 'Stache
5. Appear on TV either locally or nationally
6. Speaking in front of a large group of peoplehttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif
7. Doing a trick on a Skateboard or BMX
8. Wearing a HeeHaw Jones t-shirt
9. At Best Buy or Circuit City with one of the employees
10. Posing with one of the cast members of Night of the Living Donkey

One last bit of info. I'd like to mention that three new Rapid Transit videos went live on our site within the last week. One of them just hit the web today. RapidTransitVideo.com


Reporting from The Mustache King headquarters,

Spencer Cooke

(inspired by all you brave athletes i tried a stache last week, but it only lasted an hour.)

Say hello to my little friend....

I am posting this at 11pm on Sunday. The stache has really opened my eyes to a whole new world. I smiled at two little girls on bikes who were trying to climb a steep hill the other day but quickly averted my gaze when my wife stated, "you're creeping them-and me, out." I felt vindicated when pop pedaled around the bend sporting a sweet lip warmer that would have made Magnum proud.

I admit to having some uncertainty about completing this herculean feat. Can I last the full distance? Can I go without the affections of my wife for the duration? (cause that is where this is going) Will hair continue to grow into my mouth? Do I need to worry about a heinous snot mustache after I exercise? I ponder these weighty questions as I spiral off to dreamland. Good night, and remember my hero MC Hammer in his glory days with a mustache. Coincidence? I think not my friends. I think not.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzz............. -you can't touch this-............zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Signal Every 10 Seconds

Yup it's foggy, and the fog horn has been the most recent background noise for my life. So I decided it would be a good idea to ship the camera off to get repaired which leaves me in a fix myself. But I have a little camera which works everyone in a while. Now that almost all the boats are in or near the water for the summer I can go play.

The fog went out this morning so I got to paddled over to the hospital.



The small camera won't focus on the blond mustache. People have started to suggest that I might need a coloring product of some sort. Whatever it's enough to notice across the room. It'll be fun meeting my campers parents tomorrow and saying "Ya I'm the guy who is going to take your kids out of state so that they can go play in the woods."

You fools better layer on the Rogaine

The stache is growing thick and ready to conquer the competition. We've already conquered one epic quest together, and we'll be unleashing the secret weapon soon. Hope you boys out there are doing your mustache exercises.

My Mustache & Me

My Mustache (Fran) and Me .... We have been very busy lately, last night we helped host the Highland Brewery Beer Dinner at the USNWC and tonight I am treating Fran to a lovely little showing of Citizen Cope at the Neighborhood Theater in NoDa. Fran has been going through the initial growing pains, but has kept it's hair high. It always gets comments on how great it looks and the ladies love it. Fran and I sleep sound at night knowing the greatness to unfold. Well, we are off! Work beckons us to the forefront of the battlefield to hold back the lines of naked lips.

Signing off,
American Steele and Fran "The Championship Lip"

Rolltastic

Well, here's the three week maturation of my facial hair. Since I started competing in this life-changing contest, my girlfriend has started working ridiculously long hours - which, I'm convinced, she's doing on purpose just to avoid kissing the mustache. At my job, I've been accused of having lost a bet by upwards of twenty co-workers and been called names like: a.) Fu Man Chu b.) Pedophile c.) Poncho Villa and d.) Pornstar. Ah, humilation..., well pornstar wasn't so bad because it is soooo true. Anyway, I have to go back there for more of the same in a couple of minutes.

In other news, I finally got my roll today. While some might credit the expert tutelage of my instructor, Nick, I'm going to believe it was the Power of Mustache. Feel the power, you know you want to.

QUIT NOW SUCKERS BEFORE YOU GET TOOO DEEP

for all you little boys playing this game, bail now, the women aren't going to like you anyway with or without the stache. After spending time on the BEACH this week I have pocket full of numbers and its all due to the STACHE...and maybe my surfing skills. Don't you guys wish you lived at the beach?

OK, so I admit until now I was in this for the loot, but it all came to me when I was at sports clips to get my picture taken and they asked me in. That is when they noticed  "The Stache."

Isaac Ludwig - Checking in from the Pigeon River

I love doing things like this because what you're playing with is dissociating yourself from your physical appearance. One always finds out that people hold onto an idea of what you should like and react based on that prefabricated idea.

All that aside I've been going about my day to day life and have managed to successfully hone in on some of the quests we've been assigned. In the normal flow of the first two week of facial hair growing glory the first event I would like to touch on is an issue that hits close to home. When I was in college I was quite active in various issue based political items. After I graduated college I spent a lot of time on the road, which didn't lend itself to acting much on issues like this. Since I've moved to Hartford, TN I've had the opportunity to get involved in some local issues again. One of these issues is the water quality of the Pigeon River.

The latest in this 100 year saga of pollution from a paper mill in Canton, NC brought a group of people to Nashville, TN for a day at the capitol. We started the day meeting up with my state representative Eddie Yokley. This is an important enough issue for this area that he dedicated the entire day to this issue. After meeting and lunch our first stop was a public bill signing with Governor Bredesen. This bill makes sure the water testing is done in center of the Pigeon River when the hydroelectric plant is on. This is a small step in the right direction but a necessary part of the process that will give us accurate data of the water quality. After the bill singing we had a meeting with the TN Division of Water Quality. That was a very productive meeting... and you'll hear more about the details in the near future. In the mean time check out the article of the bill signing featuring the stash!... here.

The next step, which should have probably happened before I went to Nashville, was a haircut. I don't usually go to barbers... so I imported a beautician named Mary Sue who trained to be one of our guides this spring. She had to go home to take care of family business for the rest of the summer, but she still likes to visit us sometimes. A little exercise was necessary before the session... and for the record Oscar's handstand was not staged... that's just the way he rolls.

The final appearance the stash made was for the ribbon cutting of Rafting in the Smokies new kayak shop. My state rep, mayor, etc. came out and flattered me with some kind words about fighting for the river, etc. You can see the entire gallery from the ribbon cutting here.

The Sextache Diaries Vol 2

Well, 2 weeks of stubble came to fruition on June 14th when my rugged good looking designer miami device was sculpted into the epitome of manliness. I won't lie to you, it was a tough decision to decide which style of mustache - or sextache as it has become to be known - to chose.
Ultimitely the decision was narrowed down to the big 3:
1. The Burt Reynolds
2. The Tom Selleck
3. The Ron Burgundy
In the end, there was no competition; Burgundy is king. And so it came to pass...Behold, witness the birth of The Burgundy Mark 2!™

The effects were instantaneous. As I called to the reception of the Bangkok flophouse we were staying in, the receptionist was rendered speechless for a few seconds. When she finally got a grip, she tried to casually remark that I had changed and asked me if I had a haircut.
"It's just the tache honey, it's just the tache"
Later that night - the night the photo above was taken, I was propositioned several times, mainly by females.
Mainly, my girlfriend was not impressed. I have explained that now that I am sporting the Burgundy Sextache™ it's just something she's going to have to get used to...I think she's coming round.


My next mission was to 'accidentally' lose my ID card in order to fulfill the requirements of epic quest #3. No Problem. Getting a replacement...problem.
Eventually it came to pass. Photos were exchanged along with unreasonably large amounts of cash and I became a card carrying mustachioed man. Something to show my grandkids along with the grand prize in years to come.

The quest continues...

All Hail the King

Fellow competitors, I feel that I should apologize before I begin this post because there is no way any of you will be able to beat me after this week.  I expect resignation letters from the majority of the "competition" later in the week.  

This week brought me to one of the biggest events in the city of Rochester.  The Rochester International Jazz Festival.  Going on the 7th annual year, the festival boasts an attendance rate of over 100,000 people.  There is no better venue for displaying a fine 'stache and getting your groove on in your paddling gear.  You wanted a concert, you got it!  I'd estimate that I was 20+ years below the average age of the festival goers and the mustaches were all the rage this year.  I fit right in with the crowd.  Clad in my PFD, skirt and helmet I was ready to conquer the jazz festival and show Rochester what it takes to be the real Mustache King.

  

My concert of choice was the Wild Magnolia's,  a New Orleans band that can truly bring down the house.  Of course I had to wait in line to guarantee a seat in the crowded Harro East Ballroom.  I fit right in with the upper class citizens dressed in their fancy evening clothes. Who says a PFD isn't classy?

The music brought the crowd to their feet and I felt right at home dancing with the locals.  Unfortunately, I can't directly post the videos here because the blog says there is an "error". These videos are way to sweet for this blog to handle anyways.  Here are the links to the two videos.  First, I got my dance on with the two guys in traditional indian dress.  (see link to YouTube video).  Following this, a number of audience members were invited to the stage and I was able to showcase my talents for the whole crowd. (see link for 2nd video) Notice the plethora of cameras capturing the scene in the first video.  Now that is what I call a concert!    

You might as well shave the 'staches and hang up the cameras because this contest is over.  All hail the mustache king!

To be continued...

-MBG

The Mustache Diaries... continued

A few weeks have past since I said goodbye to my stubbly appearance, being clean shaven made me look young, fresh and most of all handsome. Being handsome has it's drawbacks; ladies throwing themselves at me, men want to be me, and children idolize me.

This new found fame has meant that I needed to escape, so a road-trip was in order. 4 Kayaks, 4 bikes, a truck and a nice long drive.

We're now in the North Island of NZ where I plan on showing off my upperlip, but unfortunately there are have been camera issues. A few photos to wet your appetite are below, will be back in home territory for the next posting and there is a few bold-moves coming from the NZ moustache camp...

You'll be amazed at the various colours that my mustache hairs have adopted!
Some will match my beautiful brown hair, others a blossoming shade of orange, others dark black...

Here comes the multi-coloured mustache parade...


The girls start swarming...


Nothing beats blowing a few bubbles to attract even more attention to the moustache.


A kayak trip isn't a kayak trip until the vehicle is almost overloaded...

Antz

A Word fom jHo....

Hey folks, I've been diligently devouring every bit of mustache fueled buffonery exhibited here, and I must say I'm already duly impressed and shamed with the performance I've seen here. Not since my 8th grade petition to have my middle school buy every student their own donkey have I seen so much heart go towards such a worthless endeavor!

But to those willing to look like fools must ultimately go my eternal respect, so keep it coming, the world is watching. Look for my biting, scathing, ego decimating comments on each of your posts soon! Remember, the more hateful they are, the more they are filled with my love!

Viva la mustache!

Joey "jHo" Hall

Nada surf, Nada haircut

So, I decided that, due to the repressive heat on the East Coast this week, and to further accentuate to prominence of whatever it is that continues to grow on my upper lip, I thought I might get a haircut. Of course, I’m broke, so I figured I would try to sell this old Lightning paddle that’s hanging around my house for twenty bucks. That’s enough to get a haircut and a sweet deal for the average used kayak paddle buyer. So, I went to a couple of barber shops here in town to see how I would fare in selling my wares, or the paddle at least .


I got kinda lost look’in for a place to get my haircut. The first place I happened upon looked cool, but I realized, after banging on the door for a few minutes, that it was out of business.

There didn’t appear to be allot of kayaker-types in this neighborhood either. Regardless, I pressed on hawking that paddle to anyone who would listen. I finally found a barber shop that looked like it had pretty decent haircuts to offer and a bevy of passersby for paddle-pitch'in.


I hate to say it, but, well I didn't sell the paddle. Worse yet, I still haven't gotten my haircut. This is pretty much what happened the whole time:

I won't tell y'all what that guy threatened to do to me when he turned around. Yeah, he can talk but he's no Samurai. I'm a freak'in Samurai!!! But, hey, it's cool. Check the 'stache Joe. Even the 1970's are jealous. Aww yeah.

Slim Jenkins Signs On

On January 18, 1985 Christopher Aaron Stafford was born into the world. He soon became known as the notorious Slim Jenkins. The Jenk as he now likes to be called resides in a barn just outside the small town of Charlotte, NC. He currently paddles anything plastic. He was recently spotted in a Rubbermaid Spacesaver Bin boofing gorilla on the Green River. Now he comes to dominate the sport of lip hair growth.

Waiting till the last minute

nothing better than waiting for the last minute.....

So my birth name is Nicholas Dowling, most just call me The Real Deal American Steele. I reside from the great state of ALABAMA! currently living in Charlotte, NC doin my thing.

I curently paddle a liquid logic Lil' Joe. I still consider myself a beginner, but don't underestimate the power of this lip. DUN DUN DUN!!!

look forward to the competition, may the best lip win.

vine ripened mustache; perfected with age

Jim Johnson. Baraboo, Wisconsin.


Jim paddles a 17' alumicraft and the butts of any little hooligans that get out of line. He's also had a mustache since he was in the seventh grade which was before most of you were born. Game on.

Mustache Season...the most wonderful time of the year

Will Johnson. Chicago Illinois. Wave Sport Z, NDK Explorer.

I've been waiting 2 long years for another shot at the title and I'm not going down without a fight. I heard somewhere that the way they make those bearded ladies in the circus is; they dry shave 'em for weeks. So that's what I been doing in preparation for the competition.

Lovin' it strong.

My name is Ben Kinsella, repin' it here in Bozeman with my Buddy Pat (also in the comp.) I'm not much of a facial hair dude, but since Pat is doing it, I feel the need to fury it up... I'm a lil under the influence writing this.... so sweet! let's party! I'm growing a stach! WOOOOOHHHHHH!!!!!!! Here's to the Montana Boys, we sleeps in caves and ditches, when the women are scarce will **** a bear cause we're mean son's o'b***hes!

Whammy!!

Patrick Rogers, 22 yrs, Bozeman Montana. I paddle the Pyranha M3, Liquid Logic Ronin, and don't forget about the worlds sickest kayak, the Original Eskimo Topo! Montana, where the Men are Men, and Soo are the Woman! So I ain't scared!